You’ve heard it before: set boundaries find peace, and the holidays are supposed to be about peace, right? But they can be a particularly challenging time when you have to define family boundaries, especially if we have difficult or toxic relationships with certain members. This often leads to sacrificing our own needs and desires and can result in feelings of resentment and frustration.
Set boundaries find peace: how boundaries lead to healthy relationships.
By creating healthy boundaries in relationships, we are able to have the intimacy and connection with the people in our lives who we truly care about, rather than remaining in relationships with people we hope will change or be someone they are not. It’s important to remember that just because someone is a family member, it doesn’t mean we have to twist and torture ourselves in order to try to please them or fill their brokenness. We are not responsible for their happiness – that is something they need to take ownership of themselves.
What it means to define family boundaries
Creating healthy boundaries in relationships also requires being present and self-aware. This means taking the time to understand our own feelings and emotions and being able to decode what they are telling us about our mindset. It also means being clear about what our minimum standards are for relationships and communicating those standards to others so they can make informed decisions about whether or not they want to abide by those standards.
If someone does not meet our minimum standards, it is not our responsibility to change or adapt to them – it’s their choice whether or not they want to meet those standards and be a part of our lives. If you are unsure of what your minimum standards are, you need to take the time to reflect and determine what is most important to you in a relationship.
Conclusion: Know your minimum standards and honor yourself
It can be difficult to define family boundaries, especially during the holidays. But it is an important step in maintaining healthy and fulfilling relationships and in taking care of ourselves. By setting healthy boundaries in relationships, we are able to create intimacy and connection with the people in our lives who truly matter to us and to let go of relationships that do not serve us. Remember: set boundaries find peace.
