When it comes to relationships, being broken hearted is sometimes a situation we can’t avoid. We need to embrace this and know how to move forward from here and heal the broken heart. Each and every one of us has a story to tell about adverse situations in our lives, where moving forward seemed like an impossible feat. 

All of us have stories of how we were hurt and how we healed. We’ve all been there; dealing with being broken hearted isn’t easy. And when you’ve been hurt way too many times, it’s natural to want to close yourself off to the thought of falling in love again.

Sabotaging relationships: why do we do it and how can we avoid it?

But sometimes, in our attempt to protect ourselves from getting hurt again, we end up sabotaging relationships on our own. Whether you realize it or not, there are a few things you might be doing that are holding you back from having healthy relationships. 

Here are 3 ways you might be sabotaging relationships because you’re afraid or have yet to heal from being broken hearted:

1 You distance yourself from the prospect of love. 

You can’t move forward if you keep telling yourself you don’t have time or that you’re fine being on your own. You might be pushing people away before they can even get close to you in order to avoid being broken hearted. This is a way of protecting yourself from getting hurt again, but it also means that you’re missing out on potential connections and relationships. Learn to pivot and strategize how to move forward from this challenge.

2 You jump from one relationship to another.

Or, you start sabotaging relationships to avoid getting serious. This is a way of avoiding having a healthy relationship. It’s also a way to sabotage your ability to connect with someone on a deeper level. It’s important to take the time to heal and process your feelings before jumping into a new relationship.

3 You say you’re not ready, even though you probably are. 

It may have been years since your last relationship, yet you can’t seem to bring yourself to move forward. However, if you’ve put in the work to reach a place where you’re secure, it might be time to ask yourself how to move forward. Take the risk and open yourself up to the possibility of falling in love again. Life is all about healthy, calculated risks. 

How to move forward in life: Take the time to heal.

When you’re broken hearted, it’s hard to see that you can move through it. But sometimes, the blessing is in the betrayal. A broken heart can feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you, and it can leave you feeling stuck and rethinking every step you’ve taken in the dance of a relationship. Mental gymnastics can keep people stuck, and it’s important to process the trauma in a way that helps you move forward.

It’s also important to remember that healing takes time. Everybody is on a different journey, and you can’t expect to feel great all the time. There will be moments when you feel low or on the verge of sabotaging relationships, but you must be mindful and patient to get through these moments and move forward. Aim to improve your emotional health first. Having a supportive community and getting help is important because you don’t have to go through this alone. 

Moving on in life: recovering from a heartbreak

If you’re brokenhearted or at a painful stage in a relationship, always remember that this moment will pass. It’s a season, and you will get past it. It’s hard to deal with betrayal or emotional unavailability, especially if the person meant a great deal to you. But you can heal your broken heart, change the narrative of that story, and thrive in life. 

Rejection can lead to redirection, and you end up finding yourself. There can be beauty in a broken heart, but when you’re in the midst of it, it’s hard to see. So be kind to yourself, have compassion and love for yourself. Remember that although healing takes time, it’s possible to move forward in life.