It is human nature to operate with a fixed mindset, or from a place of “either/or” thinking, which is limited at best and detrimental at worst. In reality, knowing how to change your mindset intentionally by embracing a “both/ and” thinking style is the key to growth in life.
Conventionally, most of us believe that if something is true, its opposite must be false. The basis of both/and thinking, however, is that multiple things can be true at the same time.
Accepting Both/And Thinking: Just experience what you feel without judgment
Both/and says that you can and almost certainly will feel more than one thing at a time. You can feel both exhilarated by a high-powered position and overwhelmed by the sacrifices it demands. You can feel both grateful to stay home with your kids and trapped by its routines. Both/and honors the full, complicated reality that life presents. You can feel both sadness and gratitude. And overwhelm. And anger. You can feel both devastated by the end of a relationship and confident that ending it was the right decision.
Somewhere along the way, either/or became a dominant paradigm. We learned that our experience was singular and linear. We were told we could only feel one thing at a time. But that’s not the case. Both/and thinking is not the enemy of gratitude or perspective. Instead, it allows for a wide range of experience.Both/and creates space for you to work through an experience without being judged.
How to change your mindset with both/ and thinking: Be intentional
What would it be like to live in a way that enables both/and styles of thinking? What would your life be like if you showed up, served, and shared your gifts with the world while also making time for rest and reflection and enjoying all of life’s magical moments?
We all have choices every day. You can choose how you want to live your life. The things you are doing every day, in every moment, matter, so what are you choosing? You have to be intentional about what you are choosing. It’s choosing being mindful over mindlessness. Being intentional, helps us savor every moment along the way and be present to enjoy all the beautiful, magical moments of life. We can believe that life is long and still not want to waste a single moment.
- We are often so preoccupied with the next thing and our to-do list that we lose touch with our bodies and what we are feeling.
- Change your mindset and questions from either/or to both/and thinking.
- Learning to make peace with and practice the truth of the “both/and” style of thinking is freeing and empowering.
- Our inner knowledge or intuition is always speaking, but we are not always listening.
- There are no “good” or “bad” emotions; some just feel more comfortable than others.