One of life’s essential skillsets is to develop your sense of belonging. If you’re not taught how to belong, you will not receive people correctly. Looking at it this way will make it easier to understand and acquire. When you understand belonging, you can approach people better.
Technology disconnects us from our basic skillsets.
The current state of technology has produced a generation of 20-year-olds who feel they don’t belong anywhere without the skillset to develop it. People are emotionally conflicted when they don’t feel a sense of belonging. Intellectually, your brain wants a connection but energetically, you push people away when they approach you.
By doing this, you end up sending mixed signals. And most people can’t read mixed signals. When people are confronted with mixed signals, they tend to back away. The more you do this, the more people you will lose.
When we lose the sense of belonging
Feeling conflicted about belonging started when most people were younger. Parents often contradict the survival instincts of their kids, robbing them of their essential skillsets by pushing them toward strangers.
As children, feelings should be validated and not overlooked or pushed aside. 99% of the world reacts to the world. Most people survive their lives instead of living their lives.
Let go of trauma to redevelop your sense of belonging.
When we suffer trauma, it’s stored in the body. It was helpful at one time. It did help us develop, but there comes a time when we need to remove it. By doing this, you can create a new behavior. This new behavior sets a foundation for our actions in every further interaction.
Set an understanding between you and those around you
If you are the problem-solver friend, you need to be mindful of what your friends call to talk to you about because you might become an enabler. When someone calls you for something, you need to ask them what they have done to heal, fix, or solve their problems by themselves before they called you.
Suppose they encounter a problem and call you immediately. In that case, you are indirectly robbing them of the ability to have their own wisdom. You are only enabling them and not helping them.
Rebuilding your belonging
Belonging is one of the basic skillsets that you need to develop. When we are triggered, the trigger is a rush of pain or emotion. A relationship needs to have depth and understanding on both sides. Figure out what works for you and teach people how to treat you. Listen to how others want you to treat them. You can’t serve and help people more than they serve and help themselves.
